5 Tips for Finding a Great Therapist

“I’ve been in therapy before but I always quit after a few weeks. I just can’t find the right therapist.” I’ve heard these words many times in my career, too many to count. It seems that finding a great therapist is kind of like searching for a needle in a haystack. This decision is intensely personal and the fit has to be just right or it doesn’t work. It’s kind of like buying a pair of shoes. Just because I wear a size 8 doesn’t mean that every size 8 shoe is going to feel good to my foot. Often, I have to try on several pair of shoes to find one that really fits. The same is true with finding a therapist. What makes finding the “just right” therapist so hard?  

Tip #1: Ask friends, family, and/or trusted medical providers for a recommendation.

In the greater Austin area, there are hundreds of highly qualified and experienced therapists. There are thousands of people looking for a new therapist every day. Somehow, they’re just not finding each other, despite all the advertising we therapists do and all the searching potential clients do. Asking people you trust can be a great way to find the perfect therapist because they know you.  

Tip #2: Decide what qualities are most important to you in a therapist and stick to it.

Therapists differ widely in terms of the amount and type of education, experience, and training. Some are certified in specific kinds of therapy such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprossessing (EMDR), Brainspotting, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), or Trauma Therapy. Certification means that the therapist has received many hours of specialized training beyond graduate school that has been verified by some outside source. In most cases, certifications have to be renewed periodically. Experience makes a difference but there are advantages and disadvantages in selecting a newer vs. more seasoned therapist, depending on what you’re looking for. Other factors to consider are location, availability, insurance acceptance, and hourly rates, just to name a few.  

Tip #3: Consider using therapist directories such as Goodtherapy.org, Psychology Today, and Therapyden.

Many people find therapists using Google searches, which can yield helpful results. However, there is no way to filter in or out the important qualities that you’re looking for using Google. A better option might be using one of the abovementioned directories. They are all free to use in your search. Therapists pay to be listed in these directories and they all have helpful articles on therapy-related topics.  

Tip #4: Are you ready for therapy?

Even if you find the “perfect” therapist, your results will be disappointing if you’re not truly ready to work hard and get out of your comfort zone sometimes. That means being willing to attend therapy regularly, often weekly for the first few months, thinking and doing things differently, and getting okay with your therapist and others in your life being truthful about your behaviors and choices. The fact is that change is hard and happens slowly and never in a straight line. Recovery is definitely more of a process, not an event. A great therapist will meet you where you are and will support you as you confront unpleasant and painful things that are preventing you from going where you want to go in life. However, that doesn’t mean that therapy will always be comfortable or easy. If it were, you would’ve started therapy a long time ago, right? 

Tip #5: Do you feel safe and heard?

Study after study over a period of decades have confirmed that most of what really helps clients get better is the relationship with the therapist, not the specific technique or method used in therapy. Feeling safe and heard by the therapist is essential for building a solid, healthy relationship in therapy. For many, this means trusting that the therapist will maintain confidentiality, unconditionally accept you as you are, and be truthful and compassionate. It also means allowing the you to take the lead in therapy and not forcing you to talk about things you don’t want to talk about.  

So, finding the right therapist for you does take time and effort. Giving therapy a chance to start helping is also important. It’s common to feel anxious or uncomfortable at first. If after a few sessions something still feels off, bring it up in session instead of bailing out or trying to find someone else. Therapists are professionals and you’re not going to hurt our feelings or offend us if you tell us that you’re not so happy with something that’s going on in therapy. We welcome that feedback because this helps us help you.

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