Is depression keeping you from enjoying things like you used to?

Are you lying awake at night worrying about and replaying the events of the day over and over? Has anger turned you into someone you don’t recognize anymore? Having lots of headaches or stomach issues that just won’t go away?

Depression can be exquisitely painful and isolating. You might feel like you’re all alone and no one understands what you’re going through. You may feel like you’re a burden to others or that you’ve let people down. At its worst, you might even feel hopeless or think that you and others would be better off if you weren’t around anymore. You want to enjoy life again but aren’t sure how to anymore because feeling good may only be a distant memory.

Depression doesn’t discriminate

Although some groups of people are affected by depression more than others, it is an equal opportunity disorder; it can affect anyone, regardless of how much money you have, your educational level, how old you are, or the color of your skin. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, about 16 million Americans or almost 7% of the population had at least one major depressive episode on the past year. Women are 70% more likely to experience depression than men and young adults (18-25) are 60% more likely to experience depression than those 50 and older.

Depression doesn’t necessarily mean crying or feeling sad all the time. While some experience depression in this way, a lot of people with depression don’t necessarily feel sad and don’t cry. Instead, you might feel empty inside or snap at others for no reason. You might not notice how much you’ve changed and may tend to deny how much you’re hurting. It may feel harder and harder to wear the “I’m fine” mask because on the inside, you’re falling apart and you may have no idea why.

Although no one is sure about what causes depression, it is thought to be caused by a variety of factors. These include genetics, trauma, stressful life events, chronic medical conditions or pain, brain structure, and substance abuse. Think of it like a “perfect storm”. It’s not just one “thing”, it’s the convergence of many, for example:

• Having a close relative (parent or sibling) with depression

• Having unresolved trauma (sexual, emotional, physical)

• Having chronic pain or illness

• Chronic stress (money, work, school, housing, legal, or relationship problems)

• Loss of a loved one due to death, separation, or divorce

• Using drugs or alcohol to cope

The more risk factors you have, the higher your chances of having depression. In addition, certain medical problems can mimic or cause depression or make depression worse, so it’s important to see your medical provider to rule out physical causes.    

Many people suffer for years or decades and wait until they’ve lost almost everything before they finally get therapy for depression. The good news is that most people with depression improve within just a few weeks of starting treatment. If you’re depressed, it’s not your fault and there are a probably a lot reasons that you haven’t gotten help yet.

You want to get help but still have some questions and concerns…

“I just can’t afford therapy and can’t possibly fit it into my busy schedule.”

Getting help with depression is an investment in yourself. It actually saves you money and time if you consider what depression has already cost you and what it may cost you in the future if it remains untreated. Consider things like damaged or lost relationships, hopelessness, joblessness, lower self-esteem, worsening health (requiring more, expensive medications, emergency room visits, and hospitalizations), and money spent on things that hurt more than they help (alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, gambling, overspending on non-essential items). Most insurance plans pay for depression counseling with oftentimes little out-of-pocket expense.

“I can’t possibly bring myself to talk about it with a stranger.”

I get it. Dealing with depression is hard. Feeling embarrassed, ashamed, and anxious about starting therapy is completely understandable. It’s really difficult to tell a complete stranger your deepest, darkest secrets, especially if you’ve experienced significant trauma. The trouble is, the more you avoid or deny the problem, the more control it takes over your life and the worse you feel.

“If I just give it a little more time, I’ll snap out of it. It’s not that bad.”

You’ve probably already tried the self-help books, podcasts, Reddit, and the latest herbal remedy. You’re still waiting for your depression to get better, right? The truth is that you may have times when you feel a little better and other times when you feel pretty awful but it never really goes away. It’s already taken so much from you. Don’t let depression steal another precious day.

How I can help you

I help people just like you overcome depression everyday by using a combination of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Thought Field Therapy (TFT), Brainspotting, and mindfulness. My integrative approach allows us to tackle your depression from many different angles to get you relief in less time than you might think, often within the first four to six sessions.

Let me explain how we can accomplish this in a nutshell. I use Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) to help you identify and change unhelpful thinking patterns that are fueling your depression into more helpful ones, thereby reducing depression symptoms. We also work on incorporating various behaviors, such as improving sleep and creating healthy social relationships, that reinforce this change in mindset. I use Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) to help you develop self-compassion and mindfulness and to radically accept what cannot be changed. You’ll also learn a variety of skills to help you better regulate your mood and make healthier choices.

The two approaches I described above primarily work with your “thinking” brain, which you control with intentional thought. Since most people with depression also have unprocessed trauma, I also work with the subconscious, more primitive, part of your brain in which most trauma is stored. I use Thought Field Therapy (TFT) and Brainspotting to help locate and process the trauma out of your nervous system, which reduces depression and anxiety symptoms. How we work together is always tailored to fit you and it changes over time as your needs change.

Above all else, I am a collaborative therapist. I treat you as the unique, intelligent, resilient being that you are. I understand that I have to earn your trust and that means meeting you where you are, ensuring that you feel safe, heard, and respected, and allowing you to control the process and the pace at which we work.

My years of training and experience in all of these approaches as well as my certification in trauma therapy allow me to draw from a wide variety of strategies and skills to help you recover from depression. In addition, I was a Registered Nurse for 25 years before I became a therapist. This allows me to draw from that extensive base of knowledge and experience to help you understand how your brain works and how depression and trauma affect your whole body.

When someone you love is depressed

If you love someone who’s depressed, you’re hurting, too. It’s incredibly painful to watch someone you love suffer so much and become someone you don’t recognize anymore. It’s common to also feel frustrated or even angry with him or her and guilty because you feel that way. You may feel like you’re losing them. You don’t know how to help or where to turn. If they’ve asked you to help them find a therapist, that’s a good sign that they’re ready for therapy. He or she may be in complete denial about how bad it is and may not want to talk about it. That’s okay. It’s best not to try to force or scare them into going to therapy.

Even if your loved one won’t see a therapist, you can help yourself feel better. You can learn how to better support your loved one, how to take care of yourself while helping him or her, and how to stop taking responsibility for what he or she thinks, feels, or does.

Imagine being able to sleep well again and not feeling angry all the time over little things. You begin to find joy and purpose in your life again and reconnect with people you love. You’re no longer consumed with worry about what’s going to happen tomorrow. You’re having more “good” days than “bad” ones and pretty soon, feeling good most of the time becomes your “new normal”. People around you start to notice, too. You’ll wonder why you waited so long to get help. You can overcome depression and it begins with making the courageous decision to reach out for help.

You can feel like yourself again

Ready to take the next step toward feeling better? If so, please give me a call at 512-766-2875 for a free, no obligation, 15-minute consultation.

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