Most of us remember Lady Gaga’s ginormous hit, “Bad Romance”, which came out in 2009. In it, she so eloquently described what’s it’s like to be in an unhealthy or toxic relationship with another person, feeling torn between feeling like you can’t live with them or without them. It can be a frightening and confusing place to be.

Researchers have been studying the effects of major life events for decades, most notably Holmes and Rahe, who developed the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale in 1967. Their research looked at the connection between certain life events and illness. They found that the more major life events a person experienced, the higher their risk of experiencing serious illness. On this scale, death of a spouse was the most stressful life event, going through a divorce was second, and marital separation was third.